I'm on it.

Whenever I drink too much it's to escape from my head, as cliche as that sounds.
To escape from my worries and my fears and my nervousness and my self-hate and my ...self. To be free and happy and fun.
But it always makes things worse. Why don't I get that yet?
I end up hurting the people I love the most, ultimately worrying more, fearing more, getting more nervous, and hating myself more.
I'm very, very sorry.
I don't want to lose my boyfriend or my best friends because I get too drunk sometimes.
It never used to be like this. I used to be a fun drunk.

I'm definitely going to limit my intake when I drink.
Alcohol is starting to hate me.

I am 21, I'm supposed to have fun when I drink, not be depressed.

It's so crazy how it'd make my week just to hear them mention your name.

It's Valentine's Day, and I have a boyfriend for the first time ever on this day.
I just really, really like doing things for John Bailey, everyday, and today I can really go all-out since it's a holiday, and not feel corny ;) He's been so good to me.

I have so much to write but I'm not sure where to start.
I'll try again later.

My mom asked me if I was pregnant this morning :( Am I huge? I mean, what the fuck? That has been bothering me all day. Doesn't help that I felt like crap before that.

I guess I have to lose more weight than I thought. Apparently.