Past coupe of days ...

I'm nuts.


Sleepyhead.

Work.

Beer and texting = me, always.

Told you I was nuts.








Dolly man walking down my street.

*

That’s the nice thing about dreams, the way you wake up before you fall.

Don't do it.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

First probation meeting

Okay, so I had my first probation meeting today.

I waited forever in the waiting room, while sitting next to a girl who was CLEARLY on crack.
I got called, went in, and the first thing my p.o. did was compliment the purse I crocheted myself. Hah.

She made jokes about me being drunk and walking to get greasy drunk food and cigarettes and laughed about it.

She told me she didn't agree with the judges sentence of 6 months probation, so she told me whenever my fine is paid off, I'm done!

I have to do drug/alcohol tests once a week [not randomly like the judge ruled], and said not to freak if I dropped on the first test because she's "here to help, not to judge" and all that. She's really cool.

All in all, it went a lot better than I thought it would, and I'm going to try to get this hefty fine of $343 paid off ASAP, hopefully for my 21st on December 4th.

I can't do this.

Honestly, I'm full of nerves and mostly regret and self hate right now. Someone invent a time machine so I can go back in time and use my brain?!

"Sorry I like to have fun" will not come out of my mouth in this case, for once

I feel like crap physically and emotionally.

Fuck up.

I'm such a fuck up. Honestly, why am I such a fuck up?
I have my first probation meeting in 3 days. I don't know if they'll test me then, but they could. And what did I do last night? Smoked weed.

I wish I didn't do these things to myself. I need common sense.
Seriously, I'm extremely nervous/stressed/scared/terrified.

The first game of the Pistons preseason is on tonight. Maybe that will cheer me up :(

Colds, bats, 4 month anniversaries, gangstas.

I believe I am officially sick. I had a runny nose all day yesterday and an occasional out-of-nowhere cough all day at work. I woke up this morning coughing a lot, and a few hours ago my nose started to bleed suddenly. I haven't had a nose bleed in a good 5 years or so. And I have that nasty sick-voice. Nasaly.

I had a good night last night, though, when I got out of work. Drank with my friends and boyfriend, had a good warm sleep [blankets + snuggling = heaven]. BUT there is a bat in my house. I am deathly afraid of bats and very paranoid.

Today is my 4 month anniversary with John Bailey! But he has to work all day :(

I love him.

In regards to that picture, it was a 80's/90's gangsta theme party. I never posted the pictures from that, did I?