Same ol' stuff.

Nobody probably sees it. The ones who know of it, and really know me probably do.
It doesn't matter. I only see what I want to see, and do what I want to do. It gives me pleasure, yet causes me so much pain.

So, I throw a fit. I throw a tantrum, in my head, for a long time. I do it when nobody is around. And sometimes I fake it. "What's wrong?" I lie. I fake it, and take it out on everyone else, and blame it on other things.

And I'm really angry that you're confused, and you don't understand. But at the same time I'm so happy that you don't.